Getting more of what you want, part 4: what (not how!)

Bennie Naude

In part 4 of his series of articles, Bennie Naudé explains how to get more of what you want, no matter how stuck you’ve been!

by Bennie Naudé

If you’re like most people then you’ve been taught that you have to know how you are going to achieve something. I mean, to think you can do something without knowing how is just wishful thinking, right?

Although project plans, to-do-lists and ‘next steps’ can all be very useful in their own right, we often allow the lack of knowing how we’re going to achieve something, to get in the way of our dreams.

We give up on the ‘what’ just because we don’t know how (yet), and if you’re like most people you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about! Here’s how this typically plays out for most people:

You suddenly have a great idea, maybe you want to want to take your family on holiday, learn to play the guitar or start a new business. The idea just feels so good and you allow yourself to get all carried away and imagine what it would be like – until suddenly the ‘oh-so-good‘ feeling turns into that oh-so-familiar sinking-feeling of disappointment as reality kicks in and you start having thoughts like:

  • “I don’t have enough money to take my family on holiday. Ahh, and I won’t be able to get the time off work anyway”
  • “I don’t even have a guitar, and I don’t know where to find a good teacher, and I don’t have the time to go for lessons”
  • “I don’t know enough to start up a business; I don’t even know where to begin! And it probably won’t work anyway –– there’s a recession so I’m probably better off just keep my head down and get on with it”
  • “People like me don’t get to do that.”

If you’re like most people, that’ll be the end of the idea; you’ve just let the 'not knowing the how’ get in the way or stop them from even starting.

Which is a valid choice of course - as you, like everyone else, have free will on how to live your life.

Maybe you tell yourself it’s ok, it’s not a big deal, it was just a silly idea anyway; no really, things are fine the way you are, I mean who really needs a holiday, guitar lessons or a career that they’re passionate about anyway?

But as you keep allowing your dreams to be pushed to one side because you don’t know how to implement them, the unhappier you become. At first you may ignore it, or not even notice it, but eventually that deep unhappiness will drive you to:

  • excessive eating, drinking, or smoking, or working – to get away from the pain
  • feel lonely, empty, depressed, irritable or anxious
  • become stressed or sick

The reason for this is that your soul and its desires will not be denied and unless you pay attention to your deeper longing and desires, you’ll pay with pain.

The great news is, despite what you may have been taught, the truth is you can never know how your dreams will come true and therefore you don’t have to know!

Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Jim Carrey, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs – none of them had the precise details of HOW their dreams were going to happen, but they all knew exactly WHAT they wanted.

If you look at some of the obstacles they (and millions of others) had to overcome, I think it’s fair to say that a lot of people would have given up on their dreams.

They didn’t.

Here are some basic truths. You cannot know who you will meet, who you will cross paths with, and which opportunities will come your way. Despite your best intentions and thinking that you know, the truth is that you cannot tell the future and that you don’t know what will happen next; you don’t (and cannot) know if you’ll run into a long lost friend, be presented with a dream opportunity or have an idea that creates you great wealth – these things happen all the time to people from all walks of life all over the world.

Looking at things from the other side of the coin, you’ve probably also had countless times where, despite your best planning and efforts, things simply did not work out the way you’d planned, right?

The great news is that not only is it impossible for you to know how things are going to work out, but it’s not your job to know how; your only job is to know what you want; the ‘hows’ is for the universe to work out.

Think of this on a practical level. We can all use electricity and cars and cell-phones without knowing how they work yet we don’t find that strange; it takes about 300 muscles to move your leg – there is no way that you can know how to do that, yet (if you are able bodied) you do that many times a day without even thinking about it.

Insisting on knowing the hows is a bit like a 2-year-old helping their mum baking a cake: kinda cute and sweet, but it’s not helping!


Keep focusing on WHAT you want, and let go of the HOW its going to happen. Every time your mind wants to kill your dreams, passions and hopes simply because you do not know how something will come about – remind yourself that

  • it’s not your job to know
  • you cannot know
  • your only job is to be absolutely clear on WHAT you want


Karate chop 3x: “Even though I’ve been taught that I have to know HOW to make things happen, and if I don’t know how it’s just wishful thinking and it won’t ever happen, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway and I’m open to a new idea!”

Tapping through all the other points:

  • I have to know how
  • It’s logical that I have to know how
  • If I don’t know HOW, then how will it ever happen? I have to know everything
  • Hold on – that’s not true?!
  • What if I didn’t have to know how?
  • What if my main job was to know WHAT I wanted?
  • That’s ridiculous – of course I have to know how?
  • Else how is it going to happen – as if by magic?
  • Yep, that’s right
  • Because as soon as I am clear on WHAT I want
  • And I start taking action (any action)
  • I do engage the magic of the universe to bring me what I want
  • In ways I could never have imagined
  • The fact is that the more I insist on the HOW
  • The more I am actually getting in the way
  • The more attached I become to the way things should be
  • The more disappointed I become when they don’t happen that way
  • The more overwhelmed I get when I think I have to do all these things
  • Before my dreams can come true
  • What if there was another way?
  • What if I could trust the universe more
  • That it knows more than I know
  • That it has more power than me
  • That it only wants for me what I want for me
  • And that it knows the quickest way there?!
  • Allowing myself to get even clearer on WHAT I want
  • And then to get ever more specific!
  • And then to understand that I can never know what the best way is
  • For that to happen
  • Even though some days I think what I want
  • Is waayyyyy too big for the universe
  • Or that it’s selfish to want it
  • Or I get overwhelmed because I don’t know how to create it
  • I love and accept myself anyway
  • What a relief not to have to know!
  • I leave it for the universe to work out the HOWs
  • And I take full responsibility for WHAT I want
  • Knowing that the only way to ever get what I want
  • Is to know what I want
  • To believe that it’s possible
  • To take action on it – any action
  • And to trust that the universe knows what needs to happen
  • For that to happen!
  • Trusting the process
  • Trusting the universe
  • Phew – what a relief!
  • Sorry for getting in your way so much, universe!
  • And now I release and let it go
  • And let you get on with it
  • I play my part in knowing what I want
  • And then I’ll you get on with bringing that into my life
  • In the best way possible!

And now I’d like to invite you to get your Free Instant Access to a 2-hour TeleSeminar on How to Create Wealth from the Inside Out when you visit You’ll receive 2 hours of leading edge wealth-creation strategies, right there, on the call!

See you there!

Bennie Naudé

Got an article?

If you’ve written an article about EFT or another meridian energy therapy, or reviewed a book or DVD and would like to share your work, just submit it to EmotionalBuzz for publication. Remember to include your email address or business website address.

Add article (100kb max):

If you have pictures to go with your article, embed them in the Word file.

Before submitting this form, please enter the characters you see in this image: Image verification

Free newsletter