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Stepping out into the world with confidence using Inner RePatterning
There are a myriad of self-help books on the market these days and that is a blessing, especially when you are on a journey in which you hope to transform your life. I have many such books on my bookshelves (notice the plural). So much wisdom is offered by such amazing people who have been through their own journeys of transformation.
by June K Spencer
Many of the books I read hoping the words would offer an instant solution to my problems. What I didn’t realise in the beginning, was that I needed to implement those words and exercises and make them my experience. Having learned this I have had some great successes thus far. One of the greatest experiences I am having (in present tense) is the opportunity to use the mindfulness-based psychotherapeutic process called Inner RePatterning as part of my daily life.
Let me give you an insight into how it works and offer you the opportunity to make it part of your experience. Inner RePatterning is a gentle process that brings you into the present moment, in a place of acceptance and allowing (hence the term mindfulness-based psychotherapeutic process). How many times have you decided to do something and then stopped when it actually came to moving forward and completing a task? Let’s keep it simple and use an example.
Promoting yourself – two very simple words and those of you who are reading this will have very different interpretations of what they mean. That’s how we make sense of the world: we see things, words, objects, people, places and we refer back to times, places, people, words and experiences and judge how we feel before we take a step forward (perhaps taking us out of our comfort zone).
If promoting yourself means going out and finding a new relationship and you have had negative experiences with past relationships, what do you think is going happen? We often have an inner critic who pipes up with all sorts of reason why we should stay at home and not go out and find our soul mate. We find all sorts of excuses to procrastinate: I have to wash my hair, I haven’t anything to wear, I’m too busy (the list can be as long as you like). Sometimes we have images attached to those words we hear inside our head and often we have feelings that really keep us stuck. Imagine if you can change all that, what if you can feel confident to promote yourself, to be successful in life, not just successful in finding your soul mate?
Inner RePatterning offers you (everyone has a choice) the opportunity to connect with how this is affecting your life. I have a belief ‘If it doesn’t sit right in my heart, I have the ability to change whatever it is. If it is in my awareness I can change it’. Often when we have an uncomfortable thought or feeling we push it to one side or even downwards (suppress and repress) because we don’t want to or can’t deal with the problem.
Mindfulness and Inner RePatterning work hand in hand to resolve this. Identify the area in your life which is limiting you. When you think about it what is happening? Do you want to bury the thought or have you just gone into ‘busy-ness’ mode to avoid dealing with it? Is there an uncomfortable feeling in your body? Or is there a voice inside saying it’s not the right time to focus on this now, there’s tea to cook or the car to wash. There is an opportunity to get this voice, which is a part of you on your side; all it needs is to be heard and you will be amazed how you can develop your potential.
Let’s look at part of the process. We begin by setting a broad intention. You can find this on our website. A free e-book is available on the site which outlines this process in detail (however, in my experience reading it is only half the journey). For this exercise you can just set the intention: I want to be able to promote myself in a positive way.
There are two simple questions to which you need to answer once you have identified the problem. (There’s no need to analyse it, just be aware of it).
- How is it affecting my life – NOW?
- What needs to happen to know that this has changed?
Now you are aware, you have the opportunity to bring change into your life. Inner RePatterning is, as the name suggests, a process to look at what is happening within, without judgement or criticism, accepting what is happening and allowing yourself to put your thoughts and feelings out in front and let them go. This may seem really difficult but it is in fact just having the intention to let them go. When they are continually playing around inside our head or body we are attached to them, rather like a CD that is stuck. If we observe them, just notice them we can realise it is the thoughts and feelings that are in control of us and not us who is in control of the effect the thoughts and feelings are having on our mental and emotional states.
Okay, what’s next? Just be aware of your breathing and allow it to be rhythmical. As you breathe, gently tap on your chest area, along the sternum, just below the collarbone, using your finger pads. Now look into the distance and soften your focus and bring your awareness to the sides as you look ahead. We call this peripheral vision (don’t worry, everything is explained in the e-book). If you prefer to see the process in action, watch the video clip of me working with a volunteer.
A copy of the full DVD and self-help instructions can be purchased from me or through the website.
Following on, begin to watch your thoughts, feelings, any images or internal dialogue you may have as you think about your problem while you tap and look into peripheral vision and just have the intention of putting however it appears out in front of you and letting go, without judgment of any need to be attached to what is going on. Be aware of the changes that occur as you do this.
I’m not going to go into the process now: suffice to say if you try this simple exercise and just watch your thoughts and any feelings you may be having, you will begin to see the positive effect that being an observer without judgment can have. Those of you who practice mindfulness will already know this.
It may take a few moments or a little while to experience positive change however it will happen. Often people initially experience a sense of calmness, peace and stillness. If you feel like this just rest your hand on your heart and really connect with this feeling and imagine your breath expanding this feeling all the way through your mind and body. When you are ready just put this feeling to the side and tap and see what else is happening. Putting negatives out in front of you and connecting with the positives as they come up until you reach a place of deep relaxation and stillness (only you will know how this feels as we are all unique in our experiences).
Now imagine (or have a sense of) seeing the original intention out of your head and in front of you. You don’t have to be able to visualise. When you put that thought out, how does it feel? Is there anything else you need clear or let go of? Or are you ready to step out into the world and promote who you really are?
Thanks for taking the time to read this and gain confidence using Inner RePatterning.
June Spencer, co-developer of Inner RePatterning
For more information on training courses in Grimsby, please visit www.complementsholistics.co.uk or for courses around the country visit our main website.