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Why affirmations might not work and what to do about it
Our experiences determine our beliefs and our subconscious mind uses these beliefs to assist us in the way we perceive ourselves, others, situations, the world, and how we relate to them. Based on that, we constantly create or attract our reality. However, if our reality is not what we wish, then we need to go back to the source of it all, which is the subconscious.
by Konstadina Sadoriniou-Adhen
Unfortunately the subconscious does not easily accept the commands of the conscious mind. So if we wish to bring change we need to re-programme the subconscious. One way of doing this is through affirmations.
Why, however, do we find that affirmations don’t always work?
One answer to this question is that one or more of the important elements is missing. In brief the important elements are: the affirmations need to be positive; they need to be specific and clear; they need to be said with the right emotion; they need to be believable; they need to be used with persistence; we should not be impatient or attached to the result.
If, however, these important elements have been taken care of, then the reason that our positive affirmations might not work is a hidden affirmation that follows the stated, desired affirmation and we are not always aware of it. There might be a thought, based on our beliefs, events and attitudes that gets attached at the end of our affirmation. This is what Gary Craig calls ‘tail-enders’. This tail-ender in a way cancels the validity of our original affirmation.
There is the classic example of a 200-pound woman who desired to lose weight and affirmed: “My normal weight is 130 pounds and that’s what I weigh.” After using this affirmation for a while she noticed not only that she was not losing weight but she gained some more. After some investigation she discovered that her mind was adding the following thought to her affirmation: “But if I lose weight, men might still not like me and that will prove that I am not loveable.” So guess what? Would she ever allow herself to lose weight? Probably not.
If we listen to our self-talk, we can hear our limits and what the real affirmations are. We can check this by answering the following questions:
- Are there any “yes, but ...” sentences following our affirmation?
- What is the upside of remaining where we are?
- What is the downside of changing where we are?
- What would the consequences be if our affirmation comes true?
So it is important to find what’s blocking the flow of energy that a positive affirmation aims to establish. The next step to finding these blocks would be to eliminate them. The easiest and quickest way of achieving this is through EFT.
In the above example of the over-weight lady, she would need to tap on her ‘tail-ender’. For example: “Even though I’m afraid to lose weight, because men might still not like me and this will prove that I am not loveable, I deep and profoundly accept myself and the way I feel.”
By going little bit deeper on this, it is most likely that she would find that there have been incidents in her life that have created and supported such a belief. Tapping and clearing the energy disruption that these events have created, would most likely bring a cognitive shift in her perception. That means that, the ‘tail-ender’ would lose validity and so power on her – mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. This will allow her original affirmation to work its wonders, through the power of the law of attraction.
Konstadina Sadoriniou-Adhen ©2011
Centre of Specialised Therapies & Training
www.raysofempowerment.com
Konstadina Sadoriniou-Adhen is an international self development trainer and highly intuitive wellness and peak performance coach. In her workshops and sessions she combines her knowledge and expertise as well as 20 years of personal experience derived from many complementary and energy modalities including Energy Psychology and Energy Medicine, EFT, hands-on healing, aromatherapy, colour therapy, visualisation and intuitive counselling. Her mission is to empower others and facilitate them towards healing, wellbeing and becoming best performing individuals. An author, she has published many articles, e-courses, videos and mp3s.
For more information on Konstadina and her work, visit www.raysofempowerment.com and www.specialised-therapies.com.