EmotionalBuzz

Simply divine relationships and EFT

Tapping into our true feelings for many of us is a challenge since we are caught in a paradox of conscious and unconscious thoughts and patterns.

No matter how much we may desire to be in a relationship there are always conflicting patterns in play.

The Family of Origin is a narrow band of experience. So intense are the feelings we experience in the family environment that the vows, promises and decisions we made as children last long after we have grown up and physically left the family home.

These vows, thoughts and decisions can be defined as beliefs and are experienced as “That’s just the way I am” or “That’s the way Life is”, without realising that these beliefs are actually made from observing one set of parents: The Role model, the Mate model and the Relationship model.

These are your same sex parent, the opposite sex parent and their relationship that you observed even from before birth.

The limitation here is that we can only make either/or decisions in regard to how we felt and how we want to be when we grow up.

Children absorb their environment with every modality from the moment they are born, and they make powerful decisions about life and the world from that time on.

In the Bible Jesus said: “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” 1 Corinthians 13:11

This I believe is about the vows, promises and decisions that we make as children that need to be released and let go of in order to be an adult.

If you have not done this putting away of childish things, then you are bound to repeat a pattern based on what you decided about life and relationships from watching one couple, and then choosing to be like them or the opposite of them.

The result of this process is the generational handing down of diseases, abuses, and relationship patterns as well as the good things that many parents have to pass on to their progeny.

I have created some models that help to expose the often unconscious patterns that drive people to repeat or alternate between mate choices that over time show their similarities.

The Mirror model, which is a method of looking at the masculine and feminine qualities that are positive and negative in the form of a quadrant that removes the ‘this is what men do’ and ‘this is how women are’ from the equation.

If you are a woman that has grown up with a dominating and emotionally-distant father and a brow-beaten submissive mother, you only have the one example to decide how you want your life to be. You may have made certain decisions based on your observation as a child, such as “If anyone ever speaks to me like that, I’m out of here!”

As a child you may not have the intellectual ability that you will have later in life, but you do have a direct link to your emotions. This means the decisions you made at five, nine or twelve years of age will be the cornerstones of your beliefs until you let them go.

If you do not release these patterns of belief you are destined to repeat them throughout your life. They tend to be unconscious and as a result they are at work every second of your life.

The conscious desire to have a loving relationship as an adult has no chance against these unconscious patterns because your conscious thoughts last about five seconds, while the unconscious works 24 hours a day.

In my experience even people who are familiar with the Law of Attraction do not use it in their relationships. The Law applies at all times just like the law of gravity – they both apply at all times, not just when you are paying attention.

There is a point of view that can create loving relationships that we all dream of, which is being accountable and responsible for the way you are in the relationship as well as the way your partner is in the relationship.

You are choosing your partners based on decisions you made as a child from observing your parents and from your relationships with them. Therefore, you are most likely to attract people who replicate those relationships.

These old buried decisions manifest in the way we act in relationships and with whom we choose to be in a relationship with.

While everyone has their unique experience and has created their own set of what I call prior commitments, here are some suggestions for tapping.

“Even though I want to have a loving relationship, I can’t find anyone trustworthy to open up to, and my fears are confirmed every time, and I deeply and completely accept myself.”

TH – The good ones are all taken
EB – I don’t trust men/women
SE – I have been hurt too many times
UE – I don’t see how I can ever trust again
UN – I try and try and I’m always let down
CH – They always leave me when I’m down
CB – No one can handle my feelings
UA – I have to hide my true feelings
LP – No matter what I do nothing changes

“Even though I yearn to be intimate with my true love, my relationships never get deep enough and they are always unsatisfying and I deeply accept myself.”

TH – It’s very scary to be vulnerable
EB – I never feel safe
SE – I get tired of making all of the decisions
UE – Why do I have to push so hard?
UN – No one else ever takes charge
CH –If I let go, everything falls apart
CB – I feel safe when I’m in control
UA – If I want something done, I have to do it
LP – I feel so alone and so tired

“Even though I want my relationship to be exciting, I’m afraid to let go of control, it just doesn’t feel safe when I let go and I deeply and completely accept myself.”

TH – I crave some passion in my life
EB – Why can’t he/she just wake up and take charge?
SE – I can’t wait much longer
UE – I want to let go but I don’t know how
UN – I need things to be just right
CH – If I let go it will be used against me later
CB – This is all your fault, not mine
UA – I want to feel safe and excited
LP – I’m really angry and I don’t know why

“Even though I can have passion or security but never both and I am tired of making do with a secure, safe and boring life. I want some passion in my life! I just don’t see how or where to get the passion I dream of in this relationship.”

TH – All the men/women I am attracted to are dangerous
EB – It scares me to commit
SE – I need someone I can trust
UE – All the safe partners are boring
UN – Why can’t I find a safe AND passionate partner?
CH – All my passion is outside my relationship
CB – I’m tired of settling for this
UA – I want to have it all
LP – Why do other people have all the luck?

“Even though I do my best to be open and forgiving, my partner just ruins everything, none of this is my fault and I’m afraid that I will have to leave to find happiness.”

TH – they never listen to me
EB – I tell them what I need but they never listen
SE – I don’t want to leave but I may have to
UE – I try so hard and they do nothing
UN – I know exactly what they need to change
CH – If only they would listen to me
CB – I don’t know how long I can put up with this
UA – I am always the one who gives in
LP – nothing ever changes

EFT master Andy Bryce currently lives and works in London with his wife Maxine. They present a series of workshops called Simply Divine Relationship Training which can transform every area of life.

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Phone: 0798 968 9807