Drawing the conflict

Ilana Weiler

I want to share a new technique I have developed to be used with EFT. I would also like to express my gratitude to Ann Ross, EFT Master, who inspired me deeply. Sometimes, there is a need to add some creativity to the process in order to allow additional access to ones ‘hard-disk’.

by Ilana Weiler

As we are all such sophisticated creatures we have some amazing ways to store information and memories. Getting in touch with the subconscious contributes valuable details and links to ones own self talk.

By using techniques such as NLP, guided imagery or open questions we can upgrade our work. I call this technique ‘Drawing the Conflict’. I recommend using oil coloring pencils as they are soft, child-like pencils and not threatening.

Drawing the conflict means-describing ones relationships with the conflict. For example, one of my clients, whom I will call Rachel, was dealing with a complicated relationship with her very demanding and overbearing mother.

When she drew her conflict, she depicted herself as a bunch of flowers in the centre, surrounded with a black belt-like shape. The black belt was all around, and at some parts was covering the flowers.

I asked: “When you look at this painting, how does it make you feel?”

Rachel said: “I feel constricted.”

“Where in your body?”

Rachel replied: “In my throat.”

It was an eight on a scale of 0-10.

While looking at the drawing we were tapping:

“Even though I feel constriction in my throat when I look at this drawing, I accept myself with love...
“I can feel it in my throat, and I accept myself anyway...
“This constriction is an eight, and I accept it.”

We continued tapping all points, repeating: “Constriction, constricted, in my throat, and so on”.

“When I look at this drawing, I feel constricted because...”

Rachel: “Because she is choking me...
“Even though she is choking me I love myself...
“Even though she is choking me, and this causes constriction in my throat, I accept who I am...
“Even though I feel this constriction when I look at this drawing, because she is choking me, I accept myself...

Eyebrow – she is choking me.
Side of eye – constriction
Under eye – it is in my throat
Under nose – constricted
Chin – when I look at this drawing
Collarbone – I am choking
Under nipple – I can see it
Under arm – she is constricting me.

Now it felt like a six on the scale.

“Even though it feels like a black belt around me, around my flowers, I deeply and profoundly love and accept my flowers...
“Even though this black belt is constricting me from flowering, I love myself...
“Even though this black belt is choking me I accept myself.”
Eyebrow – this black belt
Side of eye – around my flowers
Under eye – black
Under nose – constricting
Chin – my flowers are constricted
Collarbone – this black belt
Under nipple – tight belt

Under arm – choking
Deep breath.

Rachel: “The belt feels less dark now. It feels more like dark blue. And I think it is not all over me, it is just around a part of me.”

“What part would it be?”

Rachel: “It is preventing me from freely expressing myself around her (throat chakra)...
“Even though it feels like a dark blue belt around some parts of me, I deeply accept myself...
“This belt prevents me from freely expressing myself in her presence and I accept myself...
“Even though this dark blue belt constricts my ability to express myself, I choose to allow myself to feel free...
Eyebrow – it is not all around me.
Side of eye – it surrounds just some parts of me
Under eye – dark blue belt
Under nose – limiting my expression
Chin – my flowers are choked
Collarbone – some parts of me are free
Under nipple – dark blue belt
Under arm – constriction.

Rachel: “You know, she (mother) is not all bad. I can see that some part of the belt, is made of flowers.”

I asked her to change the belt that now looked half belt – half flowers. The constriction in the throat dropped to zero.

“How do you feel now, when you look at the drawing?” I asked her.

“I feel sad. She is not aware. She has good intentions, but she doesn’t know how to express herself.”

See the change that happened – a wonderful cognitive shift. When we experience emotional freedom, the whole picture changes.

“Tune into the sadness. Where can you feel it now?”

Rachel: “In my heart. It is a six.”

“Even though I feel sadness in my heart, because...?”

Rachel: “Because we should do better. It is a waste. We both have good intentions...

“Even though we both have good intentions, it still feels sad, because...?”

Rachel: “Because we are captured in this dynamic, in this pattern, and it is sad.”

“Even though I feel sadness in my heart, because we are captured in this pattern, I accept this sadness.”

Rachel: “Yes, I accept this sadness, it shows I care and it shows I wish it was different.”


“Even though I feel sadness in my heart I accept this sadness....
“Even though we are captured in this pattern, and it makes me sad, I accept myself deeply and completely...
“Even though, this pattern makes me sad, I love and accept myself”
Eyebrow – this sadness
Side of – in my heart
Under eye – we are captured
Under nose – it is sad
Chin – sadness in my heart
Collarbone – sadness of this pattern
Under nipple – this sad pattern
Under arm – this sad belt.

I chose to lead her here, through the full version of EFT , tapping all fingers and the 9 Gamut.

And again the 9 Gamut.

This is a good opportunity for the client to be in touch with her feelings, quiet, non verbal. I added Gary’s tip as shown in the DVD'S-moving the eyes up and down a few times.


A deep exhale.



Rachel looked at her drawing. “Well,” she said, “I would draw it differently now.”

“Please do.”

Rachel drew herself again, as flowers in the centre, and her mother or, rather, the ‘conflict’ as a blue stripe, some of it with flowers AT HER SIDE.

This was an amazing change (I almost cried myself!).

“How do you feel now, looking at the drawing?” I asked.

Rachel replied: “I feel hope. I feel mature. I can take responsibility.”

The actual result of this session was an email I received from her, which I will translate for you all (as I guess Hebrew is not even your second language.)

Dear Ilana
I want to thank you for this beautiful session I had.
It felt so gentle and friendly, yet profound.
Yesterday, for the first time, I was able to share with my mother the fact that I was in therapy.
I was able to say that with serenity and pride. I felt I am privileged and was able to get in touch with those flowers.
To be honest with you, I had a feeling she was thinking: “Oh, I wish I would also be in therapy.”
As you know, this is all a miracle.
EFT has brought light into some of my darkest corners. Thank you again.
Looking forward to our next session.

Knowing Rachel, I can assure you, this was very liberating.

Ilana Weiler

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