The strange case of the anger that wouldn’t budge

angry couple

I had to let you know about this very interesting EFT case.

“Richard” is a man in his fifties and is semi-retired. He attended our EFT therapist training course because he wanted to “give something back to the world”.

by Paul Lynch

He is very easy to talk to, a very pleasant character with an easy-going, positive outlook. He is the sort of guy who would do anything for anybody and is very community-spirited. During the course we had an opportunity to work together on some issues and after he cleared some long-standing upsets he wanted to really challenge EFT with a relationship problem that had plagued him and his wife for many years.

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Richard volunteered that he has been having affairs for decades. He “craved the excitement of a tempestuous new affair”, but realised that unless he changed his wandering ways the little respect that he had for himself, and that his wife had for him, would just dwindle and die. He and his wife had separated many times because of his affairs, but they always got back together because Richard didn’t want to break the family up.

Richard’s parents had split up when he was 11 and it had affected him very deeply. He wanted to address some of the reasons why he kept straying, one of which was the anger caused by his wife constantly moving his things for no apparent reason. It drove him “round the bend”. He would put something down and “within minutes it would be moved”. He would put his shoes in their rightful place, according to his wife, and they would be moved. He gave me lots of examples and the anger was evident. Early on in the marriage and over the years, the anger about this and other issues had built up and led to him looking elsewhere for the excitement that was lacking in the marriage.

We tapped on the anger for several rounds and it simply would not shift. I tapped for “Even though I’m completely justified in this anger” “Part of me may not want to let this anger go” I checked that the aspects hadn’t shifted to another emotion. I checked to see if there were any similarities to earlier incidents in his life. There were none. Then I said “You know EFT has worked on everything that we have tapped on so far, correct?” He replied yes. I said “Then, can you guess why, in this situation, the anger isn’t budging?” He said he didn’t have a clue why.

He was as stumped as I was. But the way he said this, with his lips almost pursed, must have been the clue that had so far eluded me. I said “Please forgive me for what I am about to say, and feel free to dismiss it if it isn’t correct –does this anger give you the excuse you need to go out and have affairs?” He smiled from ear to ear and laughed a little. He didn’t need to answer. One round of EFT later cleared the anger from an 8 to a 2.

It was the break we needed and it had a domino effect on all other issues in the session. It was like a hot knife through butter from there on in. He still has lots of issues to work through of course, but the advances made during the session were the first step in his recovery and another lesson learned for me. Darned sneaky, us humans.

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